Chinese Distorted: a Reading Challenge

This was floating around Chinese social media recently. If you’re at least intermediate level, take a look. It might take some time, but you should be able to slowly start making sense of these “characters”:

My first reaction was “what the–?? I can’t read this.” But within 10 seconds I was deciphering certain characters, and pretty soon I had read the entire thing.

I won’t post the electronic answer here, but if anyone wants it, I can leave it in the comments.